One of the most life changing experiences in my life was the birth of my son Devananda in 2014. I thought getting married had grounded me and had given me a sense of happiness that only comes from genuine companionship. The birth of my son brought this experience to a whole other level. The only way to describe this event is by comparing myself to the earth without the grounding and life-giving effect of the moon. By its gravitational pull the moon keeps planet earth actually stable in its rotation, slows it down and makes the four seasons possible. My son, being the moon in this analogy, had this kind of impact on my life.
Nobody was more surprised at me becoming a husband and father than myself, since I had been living as a monk in a Hindu monastery in New York City for the last 25 years.
My whole life I had had a deep attraction to self-realization and the soul, so once I came in my late twenties in touch with the profound spiritual wisdom of the East, I was hooked. I practiced and taught meditation extensively over two decades and deeply enjoyed the privilege of living a simple and renounced life. I had the honor of becoming the founder of a new monastery and community in the East Village of Manhattan and the co-founder of the Bhakti-Center, a cultural arts center dedicated to sharing the experience of self-transformation through the culture of Bhakti or devotional love. I also developed a deep attraction to interfaith-work and became one of the founding members of Local Faith Communities. Meeting and collaborating with faith leaders of different wisdom traditions expanded my horizon of seeing the humanity in all people.
As I was approaching my fifties, I was confronted with the very difficult decision of either leaving the monastery and following my calling to evolve into a new manifestation of my soul’s yearning, or remaining a monk and continue to serve in the way I had been for the last 25 years. Parts of me were saying: “You are crazy! Don’t do it! You will regret it!” other parts were saying: “You have to move on! Don’t be afraid! It will be very difficult initially, but you will be deeply satisfied at the end!”
Well, as you already know, I made the jump. And what a jump it was! When I now look back, I wonder sometimes how I was able to pull it off. Two things really helped me: first, the advice and support of some very wise and experienced friends and mentors and secondly, I had cultivated over the years such a working relationship with myself that I was able to discriminate between the voice of fear and doubt, and the voice of my own inner wisdom.
With this twofold confirmation I decided to leave the monastery and devote my energy and time to supporting individuals as they are going through their respective life-cycles and inner transformations. Now I feel I got the best of both worlds: engaging all my training and experience as a monk and coach in the service of others and at the same time, being in a constant state of wonder and learning as I witness the unfolding of my son and as I enter deeper into the experience of a conscious loving relationship with my wife.
